The Wearing Thing

Maybe I'm the only one who does this, but I doubt it. But, don't worry, if you're shy and you don't want anyone to know that you're guilty of this, we'll keep it a secret -- just between the two of us. OK?

No. I am not talking about cleaning the gooey wax out of my ears by means of a house key. (That's gross, and if you do that, I'll have to break our promise and tell everyone.)

Our dirty little secret is the making of a list. This is not just any list. Oh, no it's not! This list is rarely ever written down, and is never spoken of. But it is naughty. It's so naughty because it gives us pleasure -- pleasure from the fact that we're better/more accomplished/more successful than someone else. Sure, it makes us feel guilty for enjoying the pleasure we get from knowing we're better, or we've done more, but not guilty enough to wipe the pleasure right off the topographical chart of our self-worth.

I've got one of these lists for Japan. In order to restore my reputation as a very caring human being, I'd like to state for the record that I don't, however, compare my Japanese list with the other Assistant Language Teachers (ALTs). I do, however, compare my list with that of a phantom contender -- an assimilation of what I feel would be on an ideal ALTs list of experiences to have had in Japan. Here's some of what's on my list. (They don't all have to be big things, either!)

1. Dressing in a kimono. -- Check!
2. Spending time in the craziness of Tokyo and Osaka. -- Check!

3. Visiting the beauty of Hokkaido. -- Check!

4. Kissing a Japanese boy. -- Check!

5. Eating the most delicious homemade sushi. -- Check!

6. Relaxing naked in co-ed hot spring with friends. -- Check!

7. Telling a joke in Japanese, and having it be understood.
-- Check!

8. Learning my student's names. -- Check... well, almost!

9. Knowing one cuss word in Japanese. -- Check!

10. Going out with Japanese friends, and being able to understand the conversation without needing a dictionary (too much). -- Check!

There's many, many more experiences I have a running tally of, but haven't even come close to getting done. I'll keep trying. I've got time.

What's on your list?