Wink, Wink, Nudge, Nudge

When was the last time you made a face? I mean, when was the last time you made a silly, stupid, ridiculous and obnoxious face that had no other purpose than to make someone laugh? I do it all the time, but then again, I work with kids. However, I've hit upon a gold mine of enjoyment. I've discovered the best way to make my fellow teachers titter and blush. I wink.

I happen to wink quite a lot, and in most places this action wouldn't necessarily cause fits of laughter and the pinkening of cheeks, but in Japan....

I have come to learn over my sojourn on this island nation that winks have quite a specific meaning. It means doki doki or in English, something more along the lines of hubba hubba! This non-verbal form of saying "Heeeey baby!" has piqued quite a lot of interest in the female staff. Winking in Japan is just not done. And, if it done, it's considered to be about the boldest form of expressing interest in another party, aside from "lover's chocolate" on Valentine's Day.

I can always get my co-workers to fluster while they stand hunched over the copy machine if I walk by and quickly squeeze my right or left eyelashes together and grin. (I haven't quite added the "point and shoot" gesture to my 70s sleazy ball antics for fear of spreading epidemic proportions of uncontrollable giggle fits.). Some of the ladies actually practice winking with me. They've taken up the cause and seem to be rather pleased with themselves when we have a smooth wink exchange. (A wink and run.) Some of them, however, look cumbersome and labored when trying to force their face into positions never allowed before for fear of sending a doki doki to the wrong person. And, then, some just flat out blink. (A hit and blink.)

Prime Minister Koizumi set out strident guidelines in wink/blink usage in the office in the government's twenty-year plan on The Use of Non-Verbal Communication (created under the 1998 Kyoto NVC Convention.) and I'm just happy that I'm in full compliance. And by that, I mean that I reserve my winks/blinks for the female staff only. It wasn't something that I did by consciously; it just kind of happened. I first realized this when Ms. Ichinose quizzed me on which staff members I'd actually feel comfortable winking at. It turns out I also feel the social pressures of keeping my hubba hubbas to myself, or only sharing them with the female staff in order to tease them a bit. I wouldn't want to send the wrong impression to the single male senseis, after all. Ms. Ichinose did tell me that she thought it'd be alright if I winked at one of the math teachers, Mr. Chigita. (He happens to be married with three children whom I teach at the elementary school.) apparently, he has a bit of a reputation for being a ladies man. I think I'll refrain.