Split a Stitch

One of the joys of language acquisition is feeling "in" on the punch line of life in a Japanese staffroom. I remember how somber and professional all conversations around me seemed when I couldn't understand a thing. Now, I'm privy to the innards of those conversations. Am I any better off? Maybe not, but I certainly giggle to myself more often.

One of the most recent debates flying over the tops of our desks revolved around a question Ikeshita-sensei posed to the female staff.

Would you rather your partner be bald, or fat?

After hearing most of the woman answer with "bald" (visions of Bruce "Yipee kai aie ay mother f*%ker" Willis dancing in their heads, and Michael Stipe in mine), Taminaga-sensei pointed out that it's much easier to lose weight, than grow hair.

Touche!

In an entirely unrelated situation, two of my students came to me with a survey to fill out. Most of the questions tangoed along the lines of what kinds of things I would want my "lover" (boyfriend) to whisper in my ear, and when in my life have I been the most broken-hearted. (Thanks for the reminder.) But, the final question threw me so much for a loop, I seriously questioned whether I was translating it correctly.

They wanted to know if I would...
(a.) rather eat curry that tasted like feces, or
(b.) rather eat feces that tasted like curry.

I was hard pressed for an answer, and at even more of a loss as to understanding what kind of survey they were taking.

I found out later that, apparently, all members (staff and students alike) of the high school were questioned, and the answers are being bound into a book.

The same two students returned to the staff room days later in search of scenic photos of Ojika to put on the cover of their compilation. Because I've acquired a tiny reputation as an amateur photographer, they were directed to me. I happened to have just what they were looking for....

Something like this will be on the cover.

And, my answer:

"I'd rather eat curry that tastes like feces, because it's still curry." will be somewhere in the pages.