Big In Japan

The tall tales of living the good life on Ojika Jima in the Goto Retto archipelago. That's West (South - depending on your geographical perspective) Japan. The whimsy of the place will only be catalouged here for a short while, so get it while it's hot.

Wednesday, June 22

Stowaway

This morning, I packed my backpack with my lunch box, made sure I had my wallet, phone, camera, electronic dictionary, and my Japanese notebook, and hopped on my bike to head to school. Just like any other day.

When I got to school, I entered the genkan (front door) and slipped my shoes off. I stored them in the little, sweaty shoe-locker where all the teachers store their little sweaty shoes. I slid into my indoor shoes and greeted the main office with a hearty ohayo gozaimasu. (Only sometimes do they reciprocate.)

I walked up the short, humidity slick staircase and cruised into the staff room, bellowing another hearty ohayo gozaimasu. (Only sometimes do the teachers reciprocate. I'm beginning to think that these particular good mornings are rhetorical.)

As I was at my desk, unpacking my bag of all the goodies I need to function properly in a Japanese staff room, a long, ugly red antennae caught my eye. The sickening meaty maroon of exoskeleton made my heart lurch. As I grumbled a low, "Not cool, not fucking cool" to myself, I zipped up my bag and made a fast return to outdoors.

The office staff was truly curious about my prompt exit, and were up and out of their desks as fast as I had kicked off my indoor shoes and slipped outside. Just as I was overturning all the contents of my pack and kicking at it with a guarded toe, one of the secretaries (and good friend) came out to see what was all the commotion.

"Gokiburi!" I cried.

cockroach.

By this time, Jimicho-sensei was hanging out of an open window, watching and laughing. All I could manage to say was, "Kirai! Kirai!" (hate it, hate it) between 7th grade screeches of horror that I didn't know I still had in me.

After making sure that little stowaway was long gone, I shook off the remaining ickiness and reassembled myself. I returned to the staff room. News spread fast and by the time I sat down for a second time to start my day, one of the PE teachers, was gleaming at me with that compassionate sucks-to-be-you smile and asked, "gokiburi?"

"Hai. Hai."

Kawabe-sensei wrapped it up by saying that he must translate for me less and less; that my Japanese is getting better. I feel that in this circumstance, my contorted face full of disgust and having my backpack in my grasp at arms length as I bolted from the office was all the communication that anyone needed to understand that there was a cockroach in my backpack.

What a way to start a day. I really hate cockroaches. And fast hand-sized spiders.

And that is the end of the story.

Saturday, June 11

Third year students try

During one of my recent Oral Communication classes, some of my students came up with a few English sentences. Two tickled me beyond belief. They are:

1. Old people's game was very exciting, but sometimes they were sleeping.

and

2. We played fast drinking game in sailor's hotel.

Ah.... the truth! the youth! How I'd like to see a sailor's hotel!

Tuesday, June 7

Yetsko shout out

Here's a shout out to Yetsko.

Go see the Yetsko One Thrust at the Larimer Lounge if you live in Denver. Y-man appears on stage in a cape and cowboy hat.

He makes all the ladies go "Eeeow!"

www.larimerlounge.com

Monday, June 6

BADminton

Not since I was in Junior High School has my name been linked with some unsuspecting soul in a public display of graphed defeat. I, of course, am referencing The Every-One-Will-Have-A-Chance-To-Play-At-Least-Two-Games Sports Tournament. These tournaments can be for any sport; are held for any skill level, and can happen virtually anywhere - but tend to be in stuffy gymnasiums or in sun-scorching public parks. The only true requirement for these events is a very official looking chart that has prongs upon prongs upon prongs where names will be written and eventually eradicated all together.

I think it's been even before JHS that I have picked up a Badminton racquet. I have to admit, somewhat embarrassingly, that I wasn't even sure what Badminton was until I arrived on Ojika and was forced to look this confusing sport in the eye. I had a vague notion that there might be a racquet involved, and quite possibly, a funny looking ball with feathers attached. I may have even been shown the game and had the rules explained to me on a rainy day back in elementary school when the other, more enticing, activities of lunchtime were off limits. Or, it could have come to me in a dream.

In any case, back in February, when I stepped foot on the badminton court for the first time, I had feelings of dejavu. I'd like to be able to report that this latent, primal knowledge led me to success, but I'd be a big, fat, Badminton-loosing liar if I did. My name, along with my unlucky partner, hasn't ever gotten beyond the first two prongs in a Badminton Tourney.

I'd like to say that my losing is partially to blame on the fact that I have been deceived by Badminton.

Before I actually played the game, but after I was reintroduced to it, I had considered it a pastime of little consequence. I had thought of it as a kind of game barely touching the theme of athletics. I would have lumped it in the same HS PE requirement alternative as bowling. I never, in a million zen moments, imagined it could make a person sweat. If I ever were in need of using some angst-laden fuel, I'd go to the gym and lift some weights, go on a couple hour bike ride and push myself until the headband of my favorite orange Target-clearance hat with the ripped brim was soaked in sweat. Um... now that is EXERCISE. Up until a few months ago, I have poo-pooed the idea that the game of Badminton could yield the same results. Ah.... but how it does.

Just like table tennis (most of you probably know this sport by its more bawdy name, ping pong), badminton is all the rage in Japan, especially in Ojika. I have been witness to old and young, slow and fast, masculine and feminine taking to the court with their foreheads donned in twisted towels only to be stomped on by serious opponents. One of the best, and fastest, games of Badminton I have seen was a doubles match in the Ojika Tournament between two young men (in their twenties) from the Town Hall and two housewives (somewhere in their fifties.). The dudes did win, but it wasn't until a half an hour into the game and it came down to a one point win. Tense.

I think Badminton's popularity on the island comes from a combination of the facts that the elementary school's physical education department is well funded, and that the kids here are given hours everyday to devote to playing sports. Generally, these hours are unsupervised and I am constantly wondering how these island angels stay on task, but that's a question for a different day. The little darlings are free to use their play time practicing on the unicycle, hoola-hooping, playing dodgeball, or using their Badminton racquets. This early exposure can be the only reason for Badminton success of the entire High School Baseball team. I've never seen such an athletic display from a group of 15 to 18 year old boys in my life, not even when they are playing baseball!

Hokusho Nishi High School hosted a tournament this last week. You see, most of our students, and about half the staff, were away attending other sporting events on the mainland. Those of us who were required to hold down the fort on Ojika were blessed with two days full of pronged elimination. (I'll skim over the part about how I wasn't included in the contest to begin with, but saved the music teacher from participating when I vocalized my wishes to participate.)

The first afternoon I was partnered with a third year student who had actually given up the Badminton Club for Brass Band somewhere early on in her HS career. Her name is Saori and she plays the trumpet. (She's lovingly named her trumpet Josh after some Hollywood heartthrob.) We actually won our first game, but I did a good job of getting us removed in the second round. Again, I'd like to say that it wasn't all my fault, but when she made it all the way to the last round of the tournament on the following day, I had to own up to my pure suckiness.

The second afternoon I was paired with the new Chemistry teacher - Mr. Daido Nakamura. He's a young man (recently turned 23), and only two months into his first year of teaching. We had an enjoyable afternoon chatting before our games. I learned that his older sister was the first female to join the Nagasaki prefecture fire department. There are currently two women total in the prefecture working as fire fighters. Mr. Nakamura said that there are two more currently enrolled in their university courses, so soon the number will increase to four.

When we actually hit the court, I was unprepared for fan club that gathered around the periphery. I guess I had been blind to the fact that most of the young freshman girls found themselves close enough in age to actually try to flirt with the young scientist stud. I'll try to now blame my sheer suckiness on the screeches from the row of giggling girls near the court. Really, I swear, it's rather distracting to hear twenty or so fifteen year-olds scream, "Oh sensei! SEEEENSEI!" every time he made a move. Well, we didn't win, but we were one of the most watched matches of the day.

My accumulating losses haven't dampened my drive to slip into my Badminton mode. Luckily for me, June is Badminton month at the Ojika gym. I fully intend on participating in yet another prong upon prong upon prong tournament towards the end of the month. My partner will be Ms. Tomoko Shu. Although the goal of winning a game is a long way off, we are planning on hitting the gym in style. It's my job to buy iron-on letters. I believe we'll be the only team showing up in matching T-shirts advertising our team name: Furious T.D.

And that is the end of the story.